6:30 am, the alarm clock urges me out of the bed.  I start breakfast, get the hair stuff, set out plates, and then go and wake up my 6 darling sleepyheads. 

Four of the six are down immediately, on top of their responsibilities--unloading the dishes, feeding the dogs, pouring water for drinks.  Two are lingering...always the same last two to come down and when they came down, they were missing their socks and their shoes.  "Go back up and get the rest of your clothes..."  In fact, both of my firstborns (boy and girl) had decided to abandon their previous clothes choices, which we set out the night before.  Now, they were mix-matches wearing winter clothes in the summer and wearing basketball shorts with a collared shirt.  "Go back upstairs, put on the clothes that you choose last night and HURRY UP!"  The tension is beginning to rise.

Because they are the last ones down, they missed out on serving, the dishes are already unloaded, all the plates are full of food, cups have drinks in them...these two lazily join us without regard for all the hard work that went into getting the day started--completely absorbed in their own frustration that they are being rushed and having to put back on the clothes that they had already committed to wear.  So...I talk about consideration, actively pursuing the needs of others.  "Did you wait to come downstairs until you heard everyone finish all the morning chores?"  Kids: No.  "Ok, better question, did you hurry so that you could get down and help with the morning chores?"  Kids: No.  So, I go into a monologue about leadership.

At the same time, my husband is having a meeting downstairs with a group of guys.  "Guys, don't open that door.  Daddy is down there in a meeting."  This is where it got crazy.  One kid whisphers to another, "Open the door and see whose down there."  Another kid says. "Mom just said don't open that door...you better not."  So...what happens, the door is opened.  Me: "Seriously?  I just said don't open the door!"   Brayden: "Dhati told me to do it."  I wanted to bring out the entire manhood series on rejecting passivity and accepting responsibility.  "Brayden, if Jade tells you to throw a rock through the window and you do it, who is going to get a spanking?"  Bray: "me."  Me: "If Nathaniel tells you to hit Trinity, and you do it, who is responsible?"  Brayden: "me."  Okay...so why in the world is he telling me that someone else told him to do something that I told him not to do?! 

At the same time...I told Briaiah to put away all the hair stuff.  Three minutes later, she is dancing in the living room with the towel that we use when doing their hair.   Still none of the hair stuff is put away.  So...I lean in.  Obedience is first time....it's immediate....another monologue.

At the same time, Jade realizes that she forgot to study for a math test.  She decided it wasn't really all that important to do it this week.  So, I have a talk about initiative, about responsibility, about self control and managing yourself-once again another monologue. 

7:20 We get in the car to go to school.  I've got one kid in time out for opening the door when I said not to, I want to put about 4 more there, but it's time to go so I cannot.  So...we're in the car.  Them grateful it's time to get to school, I'm sure; and me, completely worn out from a 50 minute time span that used a ton of energy on my part.  As I process...I am reminded...I am training them.  They are only 9 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 8, and poor thing 3.....they are not mature, they are not supposed to be completely responsible.  I am pushing them toward that, but I am going to continue to have these convos over and over again.  Tomorrow, I bet someone comes down without socks and I bet the same one comes down 10 minutes after everyone else.  I bet the same kid will do all the work and I bet someone will disobey.  It is all part of this really long process called parenting. 

I am just training them.

A reality hit me the other day, something that was so heavy and so true that I never really seemed to grasp before.

The adoption process was finalized 3 months ago.  As we stood, listening to the judge go through the hearing, a statement he made really stood out to both myself and Dhati.  "This is forever Mr. and Mrs. Lewis.  This is real and permanent.  Legally, you cannot write your adopted children out of your will.  You can do that with your birth children if ever you desire, but never can you write your adopted children out of their inheritance."

Not that I would ever think of doing that (and not that we will have much to leave them when we die), but that fact, that law regarding adoption...it sunk in my soul.

Brayden and Nathaniel were in a dark place.  At 1 and 3 years old, they had been bounced to and from different places--we were their 4th family.  Neither of them have ever known a father, and honestly neither of them has ever know a mother.  Brayden told me the other day, "Mom, thank you for being my mom.  I never had a mom before, I just had a bunch of babysitters, but not a mom."  At 4 years old, that is a profound observation.  For 3 years, you were not really accepted into anyone's family as their actual family, but just cared for.  That is dark.  To not know your fathers, dark.  Drugs, jail, teenage moms, felonies, CPS investigations--dark. 

But, God saw fit to allow us to adopt Brayden and Nathaniel into our family.  They didn't earn or deserve it.  They didn't make it easy.  They didn't help.  They didn't do anything, it was a gift to them (and us).  They are now a part of a family that loves, trusts, encourages, supports, and laughs.  They were snatched from darkness and introduced to light. The light being a family with a mom who helps and dad who leads, a stable family, sisters who know the Lord, a brother who is willing to protect them, an extended family who accepts them, loves them, cherishes them. 

And now, they can never be written our of our inheritance.  They take on the same rights and positions as the 4 kids that biologically came from me and Dhati.  They are 100% apart of this family.  Co-heirs with the other Lewis kids, children of ours, brothers to Dhati and the girls. 

 

The reality that hit the other day was the fact that I too have been adopted. 

I have known that since I became a believer, that I was adopted by God.  But, what meaning that has to me now.  I cannot be written out of God's will.  There is nothing I can say or do to mess that up.  I am co-heir with Christ (the original Son), I am a sister to all others who are in that family.  I am secure.  I didn't do anything to help, nothing to make it easy.  I certainly didn't deserve it.  But, God saw fit to snatch me out of darkness and place me in a new family...one of light.  One that loves, trusts, encourages, supports and laughs....one that is forever.

Praise God for His will and His doing.  I have learned SOOO much this year about myself, about my God and about what I am capable of doing through Him and with His help.

Brayden used to be a HANDFUL (praise God), and today, he is the most encouraging kid I have ever met.  'You are awesome mommy.'  'I love your shirt mom.'  'Thank you for being my mom.'  'You are so beautiful mommy.'  I hear so much of that daily now.  From darkness to light.  From confusion to clarity.  From frustration to encouragement. 

God adopts.

Can I have a ring pop?  Mom, can I have a ring pop? 

No.

Mom, can I have a ring pop from upstairs?

No.

Mom...

No.

Mom.

What Nathaniel?

Can I have a ring pop?

 

This is our typical conversation.  We have it daily.  It may not be the ring pop, but fill that blank in with just about anything else, and that is our daily discourse.  I have loved being mom to Nathaniel.  He keeps me on my toes!

He was visited by a physical therapist a couple of weeks ago to take a look at some of his joints.  He has synotosis which prohibits him from straightening either of his arms and rotating one of his wrists.  We also think he has some joint issues in his ankles now.  The PT came out and had him run through some 'tests.'  He had to stand in place and jump forward, jump off a step, stand on one foot, run, walk on tip toes, etc etc.  Nathaniel complied with all the tests, but then proceeded to get a football and throw it to the doctor with a lot of accuracy.  Then, he ran up 4 steps, jumped off the top step landing on both feet without falling over.  Then he found a basketball and started dribbling it.  Then, found a football, threw it up and in midair kicked it as if he were a kicker for a football team.

My point?  Nathaniel is 2.  The PT was blown away.  He didn't expect him to be able to even stand on one leg at this age, let alone throw, kick, jump, etc.  So, even with all the issues that Nathaniel faces--the boots in his shoes, the 3 braces for his arms and wrists, he is still an amazing athelete. 

I am currently memorizing Rom 8:28 with the kids.  I know God works all together for the good of those who love the Lord and who are called according to His purpose.  It is so sweet to watch my baby boy excel in things that doctors a year ago said that he would never be able to do.

I am excited to see what God does with and through Nathaniel in these upcoming years.  He has given him something special and the sweet heart to go along with it.  I am praying that God guides me in parenting this guy so that he can reach his potential in the Lord.

Nate the Great...

We have always called Dhati Jr my 'stalker.'  This little guy LOVES me.  So, the other day I caught him starring at me from across the room

. 

Me: "What's up Dhati?' 

DJ: "Mom, who I am going to marry when I get older?"

Me: "I don't know, but I am already praying for her.  She will love Jesus and be able to follow your leadership."

DJ: "But, I wanted to marry you."  (stalker grin)

Me: "But I am married to Daddy."

DJ: "Oh man!  Ok, I will marry Jade."

Me: "Well, bud, you can't marry your sisters."

DJ: "What!?  Well, who am I going to marry?"

He was so distraught.  He thought he had a plan.  I think it amazing that Dhati cherishes mine and Dhati Sr. marriage and cherishes his sisters so much so that he would be disappointed in the fact that he couldn't imagine marrying someone outside of this home.  Sweet boy.

A couple of weeks ago, the kids and I were memorizing 2 Cor 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away and behold the new has come."  I got a chance to share with the kids the depths of this verse...in Christ, we are new creations, we get to start fresh, we are different, no longer operating in darkness. 

There is a new family at the kids school and the little girl is in Briaiah's class now.  Because Briaiah is such a great kid, the teacher always pairs her up with the new students that come in to be their 'special friend.'  That really works in our favor in regard to being missional!  So, I went up to the school, met the girl's mom (a newly single mom who just moved here and was struggling with losing her husband to infidelity and struggling with being in a new city without family).  I invited them over for a playdate, which they took us up on.  We hung out for a bit, I shared my story and we exchanged numbers.  That started lots of conversations via texts.

So, the next day, I went up to school to get Briaiah from art class.  We saw our new friend outside

and went to talk to her.  She asked me some very direct questions about the faith.  "What is the difference in being saved, being baptized, being a believer and being a Christian?  How do you become a Christian?  Do I need to make sure my good outweighs my bad?"  Briaiah was standing by very attentively.  I began to share the gospel, I answered all her questions the best I could.  In her response, she said, "Well, I have done a lot of things wrong and I've done a lot of bad things."  Briaiah, in God's grace, spoke up and said, "Ms. ---, it's ok because the Bible says that if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old passes away and the new has come." 

I was just so grateful that the Lord allowed a moment for Briaiah to put to use the Truth she was learning.  And, it honestly blew our new friend away, that this 6 year old knows and understands the Word of God.  She was amazed. 

After we left, I told Briaiah I was proud of her for speaking up boldly and for being ready to give a defense for the hope that was in her.  She was excited.  I believe a seed was planted that day, both in our new friend and in Briaiah--developing a heart for the lost.

A couple of weeks ago Trinity came home telling me a story about how Dhati Jr. stood up for her on the playground.  I want to share...

For whatever reason 3rd grade and PreK share the same recess time.  So, Trinity and Dhati Jr were both on the playground with their classes at the same time.  A 3rd grade boy started picking on Trinity and Dhati saw it. 

Trinity said Dhati ran over to her, stood in front of her and told the boy 'Stop messing with my sister.'  The boy got made at Dhati and pushed him...Dhati fell back and landed on his butt.  Dhati stood right back up and stood in front of Trinity again.

Trinity said, 'Mom, he looked confused like he didn't know what to do next, but he stood there ready to do something.'

When I tried to talk to Dhati about it, his response was, 'Oh, mom...it wasn't a big deal.'

We have taught Dhati and Brayden that their job is to protect.  If you ask them, "What is your job?"  They will tell you first 'to protect' and then go into a list of actual chores, but they know that they have a role in this family and I think they really like having that role.

It AMAZES me that at 4 years old you can see the natural tendencies to protect and honor women come to fruition.  Praise God for each of them...I am excited to know that I will have 4 men protecting these beautiful little ladies in this house!

We have the opportunity to spend a week in North Carolina.  Dhati is working on his doctorate degree and rather than the kids and I being at home alone, we decided to tag along!  After about 3 days of packing--boys clothes, girls clothes, enough underwear, hats, socks, then pack my clothes, pack Dhati's clothes, pack blankets and pillows (because there are no hotels that have 7 beds in them or even 4-5 beds for that matter, pack food for cooking breakfast, lunches and dinners (because I am so frugal and wise LOL), pack batteries for games, pack schoolwork, pack medicines just in case...and on and on. 
      After all the work, here we are, enjoying ourselves to the fullest.  We have done school each day which has been so rich.  We have practiced basketball each day and played random outdoor ball games...because you can do that when you have 6 other people to play with.  We spent 4 and a half hours at the museum today because it was just way too fun to leave, (and then left as my phone died and we got lost in another city 30 minutes away from our destination.  For those of you who know me, you know that was scary because I am directionally challenged!  Praise God for Jade, whom He gave navigational skills).  We spent some time at some old barns that were built during the Great Depression, we have met several new families and we have just had some undistracted, fun times.  (where we are staying doesn't have internet or tvs). 
   I am thankful for this week.  Here are some cute pics. 

  "What do I do?" you ask.  Well, I am a part time chef, I own my own cleaning business, I'm a teacher, accountant, secretary.  I am a babysitter, a maintenance person, part-time cake decorator, event planner, manager, photographer, nurse, fashion coordinator, counselor, grounds keeper, crisis specialist, chauffeurr, and coach.  I am also a mom of 6 children.  But, of all my jobs, my full-time (also unpaid position) is a helpmate to my wonderful husband, a church planter. 
     I get asked this question all the time....Do you just stay at home?  Well, yes I do but the 'just' part is not very true.   I have six children...all born in a 6 1/2 year time frame.  And, I have a visionary, integrity-filled husband that thinks that we can start a movement and transform this world with the gospel. 
     When my children were younger, I could almost view them as one herd.  Feed them, dress them, play with them, teach them....everything could be done collectively as if they were a herd.  But, as they get older...the girls are turning into little ladies, and all 3 have incredibly different personalities, strengths, weaknesses, fears, etc.  And, the boys are transforming into little men, each of which have their own personalities, their own desires, and their own designs.  I can not raise any of them with the same mindset.  My oldest is confident, intellectual, logical, truthful, a great dancer and pianist, integrity-filled and will fight for the gospel to go forth.  My second is compassionate, the most amazing helper I have ever encountered, athletic, physically strong, a nurturer, fluent in sign language (just because she made a friend at school that is deaf), scared and so sensitive.  My third is artsy, fun, thinks outside the box, mature, outgoing, social, sometimes a follower.  My oldest boy and fourth is smart, strong, bossy, definitely a king-type, leader, struggles with speech, super athletic, and my shadow.  My fifth is compassionate, sneaky, a hard worker, desires to please, funny, growing, an overcomer, super fast, and a follower.  My baby boy is persistent, compassionate, a lover of all, loud, loves food, loud, persistent and oh so silly.  None are the same.  They require so much intentionality, so much of my prayer life, so much wisdom, so much time, energy, effort, love, patience.  They are the joy of my life, my arrows.
   And then there is my husband.   He is a man who LOVES the Lord, and LOVES His people.  He sees the best in people, he will give his last for anyone, he takes the Word seriously and allows it to guide us, he is a leader, he is a visionary.  He is the guy that moves his family 13 hours from home to start a church where we were told that needed a healthy church.  He is the guy that is planting a church, starting a network of urban church planters, working on his doctorate, raising 6 kids with me and is devoted to our marriage--all simultaneously.  He is an easy man to follow in that he leads well and leads by example.  He is a hard man to follow in that he is always challenging us out of our comfort zone and encouraging us to trust the Lord.
   So...what do I do?  I am a mom and a church planters wife.  I don't get paid a dime for anything I do, but I work constantly.  As I type this, I have about 30 minutes til I put on the hat of event coordinator for my daughter's ninth birthday party.  And, I haven't even touched on my roles that I have as friend, daughter, discipler, mentor; or my roles as a church lay person (cleaning bathrooms, helping with the children ministry, leading women); nor have I touched on what my roles are in my community, with my neighbors, at my kids school, with our missional community, with the new moms in our midst, with marriages that need encouragement, with the people that need help with their finances.
    I know my world is unique from most, but I know if you are a church planter's wife, you can completely relate to many of the things that I am saying.  I have found that I have a full-time job without holding any positions or titles.  I lack encouragement, don't get any raises or promotions, but my role is important and its exactly where God wants me.  He is my strength, my portion, my encourager, my Boss.  Much is required from me, many are watching, many are depending on me.  "So, what do I do," you ask....I'm a wife of a church planter, a helpmate.

Gen 2:18 "Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."

6 full bags of candy...

The kids had a blast dressing up and running our circle to get as much candy as possible.  Trinity was Michael Jackson (and she was in full character...she yelled 'Beat it' every time someone opened their door), Jade was Cleopatra and gorgeous as ever, Briaiah was Darth Vader, and had the voice down!  Dhati was Wolverine, and was trying to slice people with his 3 fingers in the shape of a W.  Brayden was Spiderman and was just super sweet.  We took note that this was our first Halloween together and he was just too thrilled to spend it with us (and visa versa).  Nathaniel was Batman...and despite my doubts, Batman never tired of walking around and getting candy.  We had a great time.

It was even better because some of our friends came and joined us.  Praise the Lord for Caresse, who helped with Nathaniel for the entire walk.  Natarsha and James came out, Kendell and Teandra came with the kids, which was fun for Bri to get to run around with Anaya.  And, Trinity's friend Maya got to join us as well.  Jade stayed with our neighbor Matt and his two daughters for the whole walk, and Briaiah and Anaya stayed with our neighbor Tim for most of the walk.  It is such a blessing to live in a neighborhood where we know just about everyone and can trust them and know that others are looking out for our kids as well.  It was just a great night.